" That makes me very glad, Jonathan. There's something I want to tell you then." What's that, darling?" I'm pregnant." But that's wonderful news, my love. You've made me an even happier man, if that's possible." He frowned suddenly with a puzzled expression. "Wait a minute. We haven't had relations yet. It can't be my child, can it?" No, I suppose not." I'm afraid I don't understand." It's quite simple, really. I'm pregnant and you're not the father." But then why do you want to marry me?" Because I needed to give the child a name and I decided it to give it yours." But shouldn't the real father be doing that?" He's not available." He's married?" No, he's my brother." Your brother, Hector? The man you say can't keep a job, lies around your mother's house and looks at porn on the Internet when he's not eating or sleeping?" Well, he does watch television an awful lot also but that pretty much describes him."Jonathan's puzzled expression remained as he tried to make sense of things. It. I think we should just have nuked it and moved on.”“You’re talking to the wrong guy, then.”“Jeri said you’re not a liberal whack job like her mom. What gives?”“I’m libertarian, and generally a pacifist.”“With a black belt in karate?”“Yes,” I said with a nod. “I also believe in a strong military. If you’re the baddest of the bad-asses, nobody will mess with you.”“I suppose I can see that,” Samantha said.“If you’re a ‘pretentious bitch’, what are you doing with Jeri and Lisa?”She laughed, “I’m not ALWAYS the ‘Ice Princess’. I told you if you got to know me, I can be quite the opposite. Just never in that crowd. Ask my friends at school. I can actually be fun! Even while being a ‘pretentious bitch’.”“I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you I ran into a girl like this in the past and it did NOT go well. She acted like a bitch to get her way, though she was sweet in private. But she was controlling and manipulative.”“Being a ‘pretentious bitch’ isn’t an act. But you don’t strike me as the type.
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